Why do I always have to get dressed up for church on Sunday and wear a suit. It’s such a pain.
Can nobody throw me an easy question? I’m just a squirrel. You people are killing me. A softball question isn’t too much to ask for, is it?
But I’ll do my best to answer your lightning rod of a question.
After much careful consideration, meditative contemplation, and hours and hours of study I’ve come to the conclusion I have no freaking clue why you have to.
I mean think about it. All the pictures I’ve seen through the windows of humans looking at drawings from the biblical days have the dudes are basically wearing burlap bags and sandals.
And then your question sent me off wondering what kind of underwear the guys wore. Apparently, none. Yep, many were swinging commando. Thanks for that revelation.
Some of the peeps with a bit more money apparently purchased linen undergarments at the Shekel General store.
The Bible, like I’m any kind of scholar on that subject, says:
The Lord proclaimed to me: Go and buy a linen undergarment. Wear it for a while without washing it. So I bought a linen undergarment, as the Lord told me, and I put it on. The Lord spoke to me again: Take the undergarment that you are wearing and go at once to the Euphrates and put it under a rock. So I went and buried it at the Euphrates, as the Lord instructed. After a long time, the Lord said to me: Return to the Euphrates and dig up the undergarment that I commanded you to bury there. So I went to the Euphrates and I dug up the linen undergarment from the place I had buried it. But it was ruined and good for nothing. – Source
If anyone in town is taking this literally and burying their old underwear along the Neuse River, we need to have a chat.
Now I’m just freaked out. What are your people actually doing with your old stinky underwear?
This all comes down to what the people at the religious building you attend find acceptable. It seems more of a secular demand than a biblical one. But I’m a squirrel, what the hell do I know? Seriously, what do I know? I spend my days gathering nuts.
And then there is this:
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” – Source
You people are all weird and wound up with the oddest things. When we Wake Forest squirrels get together on Tuesday afternoons for squrch we just wear our fur. We’d probably scare the crap out of you if we put on little squirrel suits and dresses. Ever seen a cross dressing squirrel in a thong? Want to? But I digress.
There are places of worship you can attend like a drive-in movie, some you can go to wearing a bathing suit, others let you dress up like you do for school, and still others frown upon you if you don’t wear the right costume or uniform. Isn’t that what you call suits? Did I get that wrong?
All I know for sure is the underwear is probably a good idea.
Have fun negotiating an alternative outfit with your parents. If you need to blame me for the ensuing conversation, feel free to. I’m just a squirrel, you’re the one listening to a squirrel. That makes one of us nuts.
Have time to kill, read my past Q&As, here.
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