In an effort to engage in effective policing but also to be sensitive to the budding artistic community in Wake Forest, the progressive and very cool Wake Forest Police Department has released its first perp drawing by their new volunteer artist Mary Margret Muckenfuss. The “be on the look out” notice, BOLO in police lingo, was issued moments ago.
As an aside, BOLO is such a friendly sounding word, certainly better than KAEOF “kaeof” (keep an eye open for) or HIYSY “Hissy” (honk if you spot yo.)
Muckenfuss comes from a strong background in bronze sculpture but there simply was not enough time to sculpt, pour and cool a wanted person statute. These things take years you know. Understandably Muckenfuss was disappointed.
We hear part of the issue is the financially restricted Town budget for bronze this year. It’s tough times you know.
The cute blonde, pictured below, is wanted for over tipping around town. It’s not that underpaid servers want to give the money back, or should, but just want to say thanks.
If anyone sees this person they are encouraged to call the Wake Forest Police Department and not be dissuaded when they don’t have a clue what you are talking about.
If you spot the perp and want to ask her out, that’s entirely up to you.
At press time WFPD had not yet prepared a formal wanted poster so this quick snap from the Muckenfuss sketch pad will have to do. The watercolor touch was a nice feature for a first drawing. Even the detectives assigned to the case said “ahhh” when they saw it.
When asked what the thing was above and to the right of the perps head, Muckenfuss replied, “It’s an angel stupid.” Of course it is.
In an effort of religious sensitivity, WFPD has requested that angels be left out of future wanted poster drawings.
One last tip, the fashionistas at WFPD think the tastefully scooped festive top the blonde was wearing was from the summer line at Super Target.