Paint Your Wake Forest House to Avoid Nuclear Death

Have you ever worried about surviving a nuclear attack in Wake Forest? Silly you, no need to worry. Apparently the easy answer has been known for decades but secretively kept from you by the paintinati.

This 1954 Civil Defense film revealed the secrets to making sure your Wake Forest home survives a nuclear attack by using Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and other materials you’ll need to purchase. May we suggest B & W Hardware on S. White Street?

Planting flowers and a fresh coat of paint make all the difference in the nuclear world. Tidiness is presented as a critical key to not being instantly vaporized following an explosive release of atomic energy. We’re dead then if dusting is a mitigating factor. Where is that Swiffer?

“The house that’s neglected is the house that may be doomed in the atomic age,” we are warned.”The reward may be survival.”

The film was produced by The National Clean Up – Paint Up – Fix Up Bureau. The NCU-PU-FU Bureau, worst bureau name ever.

“Hey Robert, you still working for the CU-PU-FU people?”

“Why yes, yes I am. An odd bunch though. They always have their eye on you, smell bad, and are constantly tell you to F off. Office parties are a real downer.”

Once you watch the twelve minute film you’ll understand why paint is your secret to survival from a nuclear bomb explosion. Forget duct tape, bottled water, ammunition, and gold coins. Everything you need is located at one of the two Sherwin Williams locations in Wake Forest.

Thank goodness we had the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association around in 1954 to fund this propaganda beauty. How would we have ever survived otherwise?

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