Wednesday, October 16, 2019
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Wake Forest International Airport Project — Canceled

In an unfortunate turns of events the Wake Forest International Airport (WFIA) project has been cancelled at the last minute due to unhappy citizens who just did not want the project in their backyard. For those unfamiliar with the planned airport, more can be learned about it here.

The airport was set to occupy the abandoned and overgrown golf course on U.S. Route 1, Capital Blvd., and bring much needed economic relief to the area.

Aerial view of new Wake Forest International Airport (WTF) design. This drawing cost the State of North Carolina $400,000.

Former WFIA airport drawing and location.

Both the Flying Association Regional Transportation Study (FARTS) and Wake International Flying Foundation (WIFF) pushed really hard to get the blockage to pass and allow the airport to move forward.

In the end the Car Responsive Aerial Personal Service program (CRAPS) was the deal killer as local residents just didn’t want CRAPS rolling out in their neighborhood.

Led by one particularly aggressive and self-centered neighbor the opposition just managed to totally constipate the approval process.

Lost will be the jobs created by the late night air freight service that would have flown in and out repeatedly of the Wake Forest International Airport, designated WTF by the FAA.

Janet Julunime is bummed about the loss of her low wage job she thought she had lined up at WFIA.

Janet Julunime is bummed about the loss of her low wage job she thought she had lined up at WFIA.

“It’s a real blow to the Town,” said a high-ranking Town official who wished to remain anonymous. “It’s too bad we just couldn’t get our shit together to get this puppy off the runway to fly. Can puppies fly? Seriously, I know elephants can fly but what about puppies?”

The Town of Wake Forest was hoping for the increased tax revenue as a sweet 2013 Christmas gift and now that the project is officially dead it looks like the other economic projects on the table will have to move forward in its place.

But in an effort to be responsive to its citizens the Town would like for all local Wake Forest residents to vote on the replacement project which will be built at the same site.

The two alternative choices are either a supermax prison or a nuclear power plant. Both projects will create needed jobs in our area.

At the Wake Forest News we invite your public participation by voting for the project you would most like to see go forward. Details on the winning project will be available in the future. But for now you must base your vote on ignorance and assumptions. You know, like people typically vote.

Vote Here — Vote Now

online voting by Opinion Stage


Please share this poll using the social sharing buttons above. We want to hear from as many people as possible.

Both Projects Will Bring Wake Forest Jobs

It is true the airport would have brought noise to the area and made it hard at times to watch Duck Dynasty reruns in the wee hours of the morning. The good news is the two potential replacement projects will have limited noise components.

“Both of the alternative projects will only have the occasional warning sirens when something gets loose,” said civil engineer Jeffrey Allenshout. “I mean how often would a high profile prisoner or a little uranium escape anyway?”

Bernie Madoff in running for new A&E reality show if WFSMP is built.

Bernie Madoff in running for new A&E reality show if WFSMP is built.

The Town is leaning towards the supermax prison idea say sources. They are even negotiating to have Bernie Madoff moved from Butner to a new three bedroom cell at the proposed Wake Forest Supermax Prison (WFSMP).

Even a potential revenue share would be in the works if Madoff is moved to WFSMP through a secret deal in the works with the producers of Duck Dynasty. “We think the target demographics of viewers would be optimal for selling advertising on the Bernie Show and we like that. Besides, chances are good Madoff would ignore the same clauses of his contract that Duck Dynasty Phil Robertson guy did and say whatever was on his mind and give us some of the same free publicity for the show. It worked once, we can do it again. Besides, it’s likely after some time in prison Bernie isn’t all that in love with homosexuals right now.”

Guest bedroom Madoff can convert to a den or office as part of his three bedroom arrangement at WFSMP.

Guest bedroom Madoff can convert to a den or office as part of his three bedroom arrangement at WFSMP.

The nuclear plant is an economically attractive project for Wake Forest since all Wake Forest residents would be entitled to free power and all the rest of the power would be sold at market rates to generate millions for the Town.

The downside for the project is the water to cool the plant would have to come from the aquifer under the Town and sinkholes might form.

Lucky residents could just think about this as a random opportunity to have a lakefront home if a sinkhole develops next door. Everyone knows lakefront homes have a higher resale value.

People in Florida seem to really enjoy this when it happens. Well except for that one guy that vanished into the hole. That was most unfortunate but highly unlikely to occur again anytime soon.

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