Wake Forest Wants to Talk Dirty to You and Give You Some Wood

In today’s installment of totally inappropriate and juvenile sexual innuendo comes this important news from the Town of Wake Forest.

Spring has sprung and winter’s done! While that may be wishful thinking now, downtown Wake Forest is planning an event in April that will welcome and celebrate the return of weather suitable for enjoying the great outdoors naked. (We added the naked part.)

On Saturday April 5 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. in downtown Wake Forest experts will be available, discretely, to talk dirty to you. Adults will have the chance to learn about the newest techniques in gardening and composting, check out the newest in outdoor activity and camping gear, enjoy a beekeeping demonstration and visit with a variety of vendors offering an array of products and insight. For those allergic to bees, bring your epi-pen.

But that’s not all. Dirt Day participants can also spend time rubbing elbows (okay, we’ll go with elbows) with people who know how to get rid of weeds. The Master Abaters and outdoor educators from the NC Museum of Natural History will be available to help you finish what you started.

Offering unplugged music from roving minstrels, (we prefer the chocolate kind) bands and bohemians showing nipples and culinary delights from downtown’s wonderful assortment of restaurants and food vendors.

Wouldn't mind catching a bunch of these wandering around without proper supervision.
Wouldn’t mind catching a bunch of these wandering around without proper supervision.

But before you breakout and start talking dirty in the streets of Wake Forest, first the Town wants to slip you some wood.

The Town of Wake Forest will host its annual Arbor Day celebration on Saturday, March 22, in the vicinity of the E. Carroll Joyner Park Amphitheater, 701 Harris Road. The Arbor Day festivities will feature a Tree Seedling Giveaway and Arbor Day Expo from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. and the Arbor Day ceremony at 11 a.m.

During the tree seedling giveaway, Urban Forestry Board (UFB (We don’t believe it)) members, town staff and volunteers will distribute 2,600 eastern red cedar, wild plum and swamp chestnut seedlings to area residents while they last.

Last year some residents of Youngsville crept in and got some trees. You know who you are.

As part of the UFB expo, your kids can get all bad tree ass tatted up with a temporary tattoos for kids with the “Trees are Good” logo. We hear our local squirrel gangs are very impressed by the tattoo.

The day’s festivities will climax with the Arbor Day Ceremony. During the program, Mayor Pro Tempore Zachary Donahue will accept Wake Forest’s 35th consecutive Tree City USA award and Urban Forestry Board Vice-Chair Anna Faatiliga Berg will announce the winners of the Green Medal Awards of Excellence.

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