Wake Forest Allows Loving People to Get Engaged Online

The Town of Wake Forest Introduces New Online Engagement Website

The press release just sent out by the Town really caught my eye. My impression was the Town was getting into the sanctity of marriage engagement business, you know like those folks that pop the “will you marry me” question on the jumbotron or banner tow plane.

Imagine how interesting it would be to pop the “will you marry me” question to your love by sending them a link. Go old school, email, not text. Just don’t send it with a read receipt, that could be unfortunately traumatic when it winds up in their spam folder, unread.

Sadly, that’s not what the Town was announcing. Damnit. No, the Town of Wake Forest is really, really happy to announce the launch of a new comprehensive community engagement website where citizens can engage, communicate and collaborate with decision makers and other residents on the future of our community.

Basically crazy people can post messages Town employees will be paid to read, like about how municipal power is popping their popcorn early, the streets are too wide, and there are too many white deer in the area.

The talk-back site is at www.engage.wakeforestnc.gov and anyone with at least one finger and an IQ near or above ambient air temperature is invited to spew forth whatever is on their mind. Hopefully it will be close to the questions asked on the site. Yea, shright!

To prove my point, the Town says, “The goal of Engage Wake Forest is to encourage area residents to participate in the planning process for a variety of town initiatives. Along the way, the site will be used as an online tool to generate new ideas and feedback from citizens through an interactive and accessible platform.”

See, a portal for logically challenged people.

“Through Engage Wake Forest our citizens can now offer their input 24-hours-a-day,” said Wake Forest Mayor Vivian Jones. “We are pleased to offer this innovative tool and encourage all our residents to connect with their town government.”

Oh Vivian! Have you never seen what crap people spew on a forum? But a big hug and a bless you for wanting to hear from people.

Current questions posed on Engage Wake Forest include the following:

  1. Do you use the greenways in Wake Forest? If so, how do you get there?
  2. Wake Forest has a variety of community centers – which ones do you use?
  3. What are the top three things you would do to make Parks, Recreation & Cultural Resources great?
  4. What would you like to see offered at the Wake Forest Renaissance Centre?

In an effort to cut to the chase, may I offer the following answers.

  1. Why would I do that? Get there? You get there.
  2. White Street Brewery and Over-The-Falls on karaoke night.
  3. More slip-n-slides, bikini car washes, and bear hunting.
  4. Strippers. If we can’t have strippers then how about family monthly porno night? It’s cultural. I learned everything about Thailand from one of those movies.
Dear Vivian Jones, You need to change the name of this place to purple puppy village. If you don't you are stupid. I know what town you live in.
Dear Vivian Jones, You need to change the name of this place to Purple Puppy Village. If you don’t you are stupid. I know what town you live in.

In addition to topic questions, Engage Wake Forest will utilize polls, surveys, idea submissions and picture share opportunities to engage citizens.

“Our tools go beyond just technology, said Nick Bowden, CEO of MindMixer. “Our mission is to build community contributors. Ideas, voices and perspectives are shared to facilitate deeper and better conversations that yield actionable insights and a stronger community.”

While some people will take this opportunity, I just wish I could read all the responses of people who can’t or won’t. That’s the entertainment gold.

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