Sex on Wake Forest Train Tracks Not Advised

As a public service, this publication is advising Wake Forest area residents to remember to not have sex on the train tracks running through town or the surrounding area. Normally we would not publish such a public service warning unless it involved either string cheese or tater tots but apparently not having sex on the train tracks is not obvious …

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Paint Your Wake Forest House to Avoid Nuclear Death

Have you ever worried about surviving a nuclear attack in Wake Forest? Silly you, no need to worry. Apparently the easy answer has been known for decades but secretively kept from you by the paintinati. This 1954 Civil Defense film revealed the secrets to making sure your Wake Forest home survives a nuclear attack by using Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, …

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Wake Forest Obituaries

Here at the Wake Forest News we’ve noticed a trend about obituaries we thought needed to be addressed. For some reason search traffic keeps landing on our website looking for obituary information on people who have exceeded their use by date. For the record, nobody ever dies in our version of Wake Forest. We feel once you are a Wake …

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The Wake Forest Weekly Goes Big Time

five happy kids

Across our desk this morning came flashing this press release sent out on the nationally recognized service PRWeb. The Wake Forest Weekly was the prominent feature of the release and soundly praised for their annual community contest where residents and those engaged in rampant voter fraud, cast a vote for who or what they like best in our community. It’s …

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Upcoming Events in Wake Forest for Sept 26 – Oct 7

upcoming events

Quite frankly we have no idea how Bill Crabtree, the Town of Wake Forest public information officer ever sleeps. He seems like his duties far outweigh a reasonable amount of time. So from now on he will be known as Super Crabtree. Able to leap massive deadlines in a single bound. Stronger than an editor. Bill or his massive staff …

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The Wake Forest Gift That Keeps on Giving – No, It’s Not VD

Wake Forest is special in so many ways. Oh crap, that sounds like we are writing a puff piece. Let’s try again. Wake Forest residents are the luckiest people on the planet. Damn, we did it again. How about Wake Forest is unique in many ways. Let’s go with that. Yes, Wake Forest is special in many ways. One of …

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Question Authority. We’re Going With Yes On This One.

It’s so odd that actually happened to someone else as well. We thought it was just us at the Wake Forest News that this happened to. You know it’s time to question authority when a unicorn is driving a van. Or alternatively, it’s time to ask a friend to stay with you till the mushrooms wear off. And we’re talking …

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Fifty Shades of Hay – Wake Forest Shopping Find

Fifty Shades of Grey is riding a wave of popularity as the best soft core porn literary series that is being read by housewives across America, including Wake Forest. The series, we are told, involves a number of romantic and “liberating” sexual exploits. Whatever that means. Hate it or love it you have to give one artist at The Cotton …

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