Thursday, September 21, 2017
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Wake Forest News Guiding Principles and Rules

Below you will find our growing list of rules which we’ve adopted here at Wake Forest News. We like to be as open and transparent as possible about of core beliefs and our motivations in pursuing a most mediocre level of Wake Forest journalism possible.

If you think we’ve missed something that should be on the list, feel free to send it in to us here.

  1. Don’t be too serious.
  2. Try to find a way to use gratuitous pictures of hot babes any time you can.
  3. If you have to haul yourself out of bed or deal with bad traffic just to get to an emergency to cover it and it turns out to be nothing, publish the photo anyway. No sense wasting all that time for nothing.
  4. If any local paper thinks a potential story is boring, avoid it like the plague, unless it involves rule 2 or 3.
  5. Proofread as little as possible.
  6. When possible, try to make readers spit coffee out the nose or make a little bit of wee come out.
  7. Never try to be better than the fifth best paper in a three paper town.
  8. We’ll publish whatever we fucking want.
  9. Never have more than seven rules.
  10. Damn, never have more than eight rules.
  11. Damn, damn, damn. OK, never have any limit on the number of rules you can have.